Until I began
raising my son, who happens to have some learning differences, I actually never
knew that the official term for such differences is “learning disability.” You
see, Dwight, our dean and my “Dad,” referred to students who learned
differently from the "average" student as having...wait for it...”learning differences.” And I spent most
of my life thinking that this was how everybody
thought about the matter.
How much did that
linguistic switch mean to those students, my friends, some of whom had felt
“less-than” most of their lives because they didn’t process and/or express
information in just the same way as everybody else? You can bet it meant a great
deal.
G’s early life
involved quite a lot of testing, always at the request of his teachers. I
began early on to use different terms for many of the labels that were used by
professionals for my son and, later, me. I’ve suggested -- whenever the online
or in-person conversation comes up -- that we use the phrase “Sensory
Processing Differences” in place of
“Sensory Processing Disorder,” and people have generally agreed. I do
understand that there are contexts in which a disability label may be more
effective in managing our differences. However, for the sake of our selves, and
our communities, and our children, I contend that the following labels need to
be changed, for daily use, if not for services and adaptations (and this is by
no means a comprehensive list, just getting this here manifesto going!):
Sensory Processing
Disorder to Sensory Processing
Differences
Autism Spectrum
Disorder to Autism Spectrum
Accommodations to Adaptations
Disability to
Diffability
Disabled to Differently-Abled
Yes, we are
different. That doesn’t always make us fundamentally disordered or syndromed.
We are all
different. All that difference is not the same. Some of it is MUCH harder, because this world was constructed primarily
by people who are embodied and think in “normal” ways. The adaptations some
of us may need are framed as “special” “services” because of the way this world
is designed – and for whom – NOT BECAUSE THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH US.
Here’s an example I
see as very simple and non-loaded: because of my Sensory Processing
Differences, when I go into a big box store the artificial scents used in
cleaners and scented candles etc. give me an instant migraine. Does this make
me defective? In my humble opinion, it makes me more of a canary in a coal
mine: Nobody should be breathing
those chemicals...and it’s not “disordered” to know so in a very visceral
way.
Another thing about
language: it’s okay to ask! There’s been so much discussion, much of it rancorous,
around whether or not to use person-first language. How about using the
language that the person/people in question prefer/s? I, for one, aim to use
language that is respectful and egalitarian. When I speak with others, I am
willing to use the language they deem respectful and egalitarian, so long as it
does not demean me.
Changing the ways
we talk about difference are an important step toward healing this world so
that we are all included in the spectrum of equality. Although there is some
weight to having “differences,” the word itself also implies variety and, in
some important ways, validity. We must continue striving to speak and write in
ways that are increasingly fair, as language evolves to better fit reality..
You’ll note I’ve no
cute rainbow graphic for this Full Spectrum manifesto. (Please see Figure I.)
Figure I – No Cute
Rainbow Graphic
...because the way
we talk about stuff is serious.
Love,
Full Spectrum Mama
Well said! Words have such staying power, especially with kids. I also have always preferred the term learning differences to learning disabilities.
ReplyDeleteMy son just told me today about something called the "wall of shame" at his school. Apparently kids who talk in the hallways or aren't reading their book have to sit there. The term makes me shudder. We all need to think about our words and their connotations. (On a side note-he's attending a different school next year).
Another excellent post! :)
@Jessica,
ReplyDeleteYIKES. I know you see what I mean about the power of language and how important it is to change our words as better ones arise in our vocabulary and usage. I am just stunned that your son's school would use such words???!!!
I very much hope your son's new school next year will be more sensitive and a great fit.Take hope from us: switching schools I feel literally changed my son's life - even saved in in certain ways.
Good luck!!!!!!!!!
Love,
FSM
I love every single one of your posts. They change me. No more "disorder" from me.
ReplyDeleteThank you thank you!!!!! Bit by bit...At least in how we talk to each other to start!
DeleteLove,
FSM
"Although there is some weight to having “differences,” the word itself also implies variety and, in some important ways, validity. "
ReplyDeleteI love the way you put this. Validity is so important. Great post, and I am jealous you had such a great teacher/Dad!
Thank you so much, Merri.
DeleteLet's just say the bio family was a bit trickier than my "family of choice." But I've been very lucky and blessed in so many ways. Can't complain. [Except to the Complaint Department ;)]
Hey Canary in a Coal Mine --- oh my goodness how I LOVE this post. And I love the idea of differences... Sensory Processing Differences. Learning Differences. It's certainly how I see my son many days. :)
ReplyDeleteJennifer @ The Jenny Evolution
Thanks so much. YOU (and your son, in a roundabout way) made it all happen!
DeleteI LOVE the chart you made. I couldn't agree more. As an English teacher, I take the usage of words very seriously. We all know disability and disorder have negative connotations, so why not use more positive language when discussing other's needs? Great post, Full Spectrum Mama!
ReplyDeleteAha, I teach too, and much of what I teach involves language...
DeleteI think a key thing is that we are DEVELOPING language, and, as we do, we need to take heed, and spread the word, so to speak.
Thanks so much, MC.
You nailed it again, great post. I love your "canary" analogy, I do believe this to be true. And, I am on board with the Full Spectrum manifesto, because this language matters. I've learned a lot along this path (still in progress), and that is one thing that I'm been trying hard to master. You rock.
ReplyDeleteWe are all kind of bumbling along, trying to forge new language and ways of thinking that are more inclusive, but at least somewhat TOGETHER - thanks, Stay Quirky!
DeleteLove,
FSM