Diet II – A Poem

We were driving home from Grandmother and Grandfather’s house in one of those monsoon-like storms that seem to be getting less uncommon when G informed me that he had to go, “really this time.” Through the downpour, I could barely make out that the next exit claimed to have a gas station; even the exit itself was barely discernable. Somehow we found our way to the first – closed – gas station then turned around to try to find the alleged gas station in the other direction. When we couldn’t find that one, we pulled into a likely-looking lot, surrounded by promising woods and a bit secluded. A police car pulled in after us. I explained to G that getting out of the car in the pouring rain and heading for the woods wouldn’t be appropriate at that particular moment. As I drove my courageous, whimpering son back onto the highway at a snail’s pace, the following poem popped into my head, almost in its entirety:

Villanelle -- Mad Diarrhea

(with apologies to Plath*)

I ate some food, therefore my insides churned

I bade my time, held what I held too long

(I thought that I could fart – but I was wrong)

The probiotics go sliding in with happy song

And also I ingested some sweets, and that was wrong

I ate some food, therefore my insides churned

I dreamed I ate some gluten and then cheeses round

And in the roadside woods “released” both upon the ground

(I thought that I could fart – but I was wrong)

Fermented food topples from my fridge, fibers abound

Exit possible allergens and yet…not diarrhea

I ate some food, therefore my insides churned

I fancied certain diets for our health and to live long

But I grow hungry and I want some bread

(I thought that I could fart – but I was wrong)

I should have stopped at the gas station instead

At least when you go there they’ve got tp

I ate some food, therefore my insides churned

(I thought that I could fart – but I was wrong)

Alllllrighty then…I promise, no diarrhea posts for at least a month.

Love,

Full Spectrum Mama

* This was one of my favorite poems back in the day:

Villanelle - Mad Girl's Love Song

            By Sylvia Plath

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;

I lift my lids and all is born again.

(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,

And arbitrary blackness gallops in:

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed

And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.

(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:

Exit seraphim and Satan's men:

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,

But I grow old and I forget your name.

(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;

At least when spring comes they roar back again.

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

(I think I made you up inside my head.)