Wednesday, April 10, 2013

“free messages would you like one?”

The other day, G came home with this question taped to the front of his shirt:

                                        Figure I – “free messages would you like one”

We live in a crunchy-granola community, wherein students and teachers are liable to offer a little shoulder rub when someone looks down. G got quite a few after the whole popularity imbroglio. Then, after G’s class began to directly address inclusion issues (and people had begun paying a little more attention to the more marginalized kids in class), G had begun to offer shoulder massages on his own, probably as a known method of connecting with other students. He was recognized as being pretty good at giving these mini-massages and decided to engage in a little self-promotion, as above.

Giving massages brought G some social acceptance…so much so that he thought it would be a great idea to advertise on his own body.

I worried, seeing that sign, that G was following a course I chose early on of substituting acceptance of my generosity for acceptance of me as a person. We Spectrumites often have porous boundaries, and when we opt for giving, takers may abound.

Nevertheless G seemed really happy, said he had a lot of people who “let him” give them shoulder rubs.

His teacher apparently told him he might have a good career as a massage therapist, but G objected, stating that his chosen career as a marine biologist was more important.

“But what about the good you could do for people?” his teacher asked.

“Who needs help more, people, who can help themselves…or seals?” G responded.

Please let me know if you need a message – I can get ‘em for free.

Full Spectrum Mama


  1. "I worried, seeing that sign, that G was following a course I chose early on of substituting acceptance of my generosity for acceptance of me as a person."

    Been there. It is something I often think about as well... Questions like "Do they like me or do they like what I have to offer them?..."comes to mind. I also start thinking "Well, my generosity is apart of my personality so therefor they like me for me." but then I ask my self why i am so generous? and I often think that maybe I'm over generous to compensate for my insecurities of not fitting in.

    Great entry, made me think about a lot.


    1. Yes. Thank you so much, Jamie. Just always remember there ***are*** those who WILL and I am sure DO truly appreciate and love you for who you ARE as a WHOLE, whether you are offering a message, a massage or...nuthin'!
      Love, FSM

    2. Also, Jamie, I wanted to add that G's generosity is so genuine (not manipulative or from some other questionable ulterior motive), much like you said, "part of [his] personality." I just am concerned he never be taken advantage of...

  2. As a recent recipient of a free message (both the physical removal of stress from my shoulders as well as the tender verbal admonishment that my own skills in this area were a bit lacking), I can say that I am glad G defended himself against the guidance of the teacher (however well-meaning) to "track" him into a different profession. I am reminded of my days as a young highschooler and the only girl (tormented by boys) in physics class. The adult that guided me then, swung me away from science and conflict with bullies to more "appropriate" classes. If only I'd had the backbone that G does. G knows that he may have many talents, but it's important to stick with what you're passionate about. Oh, and seals rule!

    1. Wonderful thoughts, anonymous - thank you so much for sharing. Don't even get me started on the plight of girls in science and math...though I do think and hope that's changed for the better over the years. Here's to following our passions and dreams - whenever we are able! Seals 4eva, FSM

  3. Free seal message:
    Gentle, playful and adaptable, seal moves through emotions with ease and contentment ~
    Seals swimming above and below water, teach flow, how to hear, and how to discover the deeper mysteries of true nature. Seal is keeper of wisdom and shows what is hidden deep within (💚, unconditional style): go, G!


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