“You need to be your teens’ ‘frontal lobes’ until their brains are fully wired.”
I found this quote,
from The Teenage Brain by Frances
Jensen, in an 8/31/15 New Yorker article, “The Terrible Teens: What’s wrong
with them?” by the highly-respected Elizabeth Kolbert (all following quotes are
from this article unless otherwise specified). Kolbert usually writes searing,
devastating pieces on global warming and the environment, but apparently she’s
also the mother of three teenage sons, and so had a personal interest in this
subject as well. Frances Jensen is herself “a mother, an author, and a
neurologist,” who has two sons who have now graduated from their respective (very good) colleges. We will leave aside
the question of how these two mothers are so incredibly accomplished, naturally
doing so in a totally unbitter way, and now proceed to discuss how and why something
is “wrong” with teenage brains.
...Something is
wrong with teenage brains. And what that is,
is: teens are not yet fully-brained.
This is news?
Even Aristotle (~384-322
BCE) felt that the young are lacking wisdom or even the capacity for reason. In
his Nichomachean Ethics, he wrote
that youth are so “inexperienced,” and “tend[ing] to follow his [sic] passions”
that “studying [here, reason and philosophy] will be vain and unprofitable.”
But Kolbert,
Jensen, et al bring the science: Apparently, everything we think of as mature,
wise, balanced, reasonable, “civilized, intelligent,” comes from our frontal
and prefrontal lobes. Since brain development has been determined to start in
the rear sections of the brain and move forward, these areas are the very last
to mature. In fact, according to MIT.edu and many other sources, full brain maturity may not occur until far into the
20s, usually around 25 years of age. The BBC News,
among others, extends this into the early 30s.
In teens, the
frontal and prefrontal lobes of the brain are not yet completely integrated or
connected with other more impulsive or pleasure-oriented parts of brain, the
latter of which are in fullest-ever force
during these years. Usually, in full-brainers such as ourselves, the frontal
and prefrontal lobes will “check on impulses originating in other parts of the
brain.” For teens, who are still developing those links, checks and balances
are rare to nonexistent. Since these front bits of the brain are also the seat
of executive function – “responsible for planning, for self-awareness, and for
judgment”—organization and follow-through are also at a low point.
Now imagine all of
this plus atypical neurological development. In certain ways, aspects of autism
and other neurodiverse ways of being such as ADHD, may resemble - or partially
overlap with - or exacerbate! - the typical teenage brain.
What I really,
really want to know is: Does this mean my son may actually someday develop some
sense? I do and will celebrate all of
his other quirkinesses and differences, but the sheer dangerousness of his
unique developmental status in this area, combined with the natural
teen/20s[/30s] propensity toward rash, foolish, irresponsible behavior, is
alarming. At some point, he needs - for his own safety and independence - to
somehow make, integrate, and strengthen those neural connections.
In any case,
allistic or neurodiverse, teens also quite blatantly lack some of the central
capacities we regard as integral to prudent, productive, safe human existence.
As solutions,
Jensen and Kolbert recommend the following hi-tech tools:
* “near constant hectoring,”
* “scare tactics:” telling terrible
cautionary tales at every opportunity, and
* calling other parents to make sure your teens are never alone at their houses, either (representative teen
quote following this strategy: “Why even have kids if you are going to do
that?”),
...in order to:
* force our kids into faking or parroting some
modicum of executive function, responsibility, and do-right,
* supervise teens’ every move, since they are
personally incapable of judgment, and, most importantly, to,
* frighten our kids into not doing all the
stupid things they are naturally prone to doing.
Count me in: I
never thought I would be this kind of parent but, given what I’ve learned and
experienced so far, I agree with them on every level. They admit, however – and I agree with this, too - that not
only were/are their teens’ immediate responses “not always encouraging,” but that
there is “no empirical evidence” that any of this works.
Nonetheless, it’s
all we’ve got. So, for the next 8-20 years, you may call me “Full Frontal Mama.”
Love,
Full Spectrum Mama
