In “Laugh Like a…” and “Gortles vs. Vocal Fry” I began to
write about the Full Spectrum of speech expressed by my children and our family
approaches to some of our challenges in that realm. These include, on the one
hand, exceptional sassiness or dorkiness
of oral interaction styles and, on the other, widely disparate levels of verbal
agility.
Here are two more topics to consider: repetition and volume.
G and Z loooove to repeat. Single words, questions,
quotations, astute observations, not-so-astute observations, random sounds…all
are fodder for extensive repetition. This shared habit is rooted in two very
different sources: G’s mind seems to get drawn into a pattern - he’ll blurt out
a word or phrase from time to time, sometimes for days, as the neural impulse
strikes; Z likes uninterrupted attention, which speech can bring, but she also
self-soothes – and learns --with patter.
We use the same tool inclusive of these two distinct
contexts. Since it works well in our household, it just might work in a wide
range of families. I therefore offer:
A Good Rule for Parents and People:
1.
The One Time Rule
Things may only be said ONE
TIME. If something is repeated,
Mama – often in cahoots with the currently non-repeating child – may utter the
powerful phrase, “One Time Rule”…as many times as is necessary.
a.
The Awesome [or insert your dreadful trending word here] Rule
Each child may utter the word
“awesome” ONE TIME per diem.
For some reason, this has worked.
Good thing, because we have yet to work out the Consequences.
Partly because of low tone, G also has issues with volume
modulation. More specifically, he speaks very, very loudly, especially when
excited (and he’s an enthusiastic guy). His speech volume is probably the
single biggest obstacle to other kids’ acceptance and comfort in his presence.
When we are together as a family, I might say, “Stop
shouting in my ear,” “Turn it Down, please,” or “I am RIGHT HERE.” I don’t want
to humiliate him in public, though, so we have devised a sort of
turning-down-a-radio-dial type motion that is meant to indicate to him that he
needs to try to modulate his voice to a quieter level.
Alas, unless he is looking right at my finger, he doesn’t
notice this signal! My gesture, then, gets bigger and bigger, progressing
initially to something resembling the “cuckoo” finger swirl and then evolving,
as it widens, into a one-handed version of Jazz Hands.
In contrast, and no, I am not making this up just to, as it
were, fill my proverbial Spectrum, Z has issues with speaking at LOW volume.
Specifically, she prefers to speak At All Times, and so, if she has been asked
to be quiet, she simply speaks much, much more quietly, typically in a very
special language of her very own. This brings us to:
2. The No Poltergeist Voices Rule
If your attachment disordered, or
otherwise anxiously garrulous, or perhaps even happily loquacious child has not
stopped speaking in approximately seven hours (years) and if he or she insists
upon whispering “ZI-guh-sa-ba ZI-guh-sa-ba” over and over near your ear while
you are on the phone for Three Minutes after Paying Attention to her or him the
Entire Day (or some similar situation), simply invoke the No Poltergeist Voices
Rule.
This might work.
Jazz Hands!
Love,
Full Spectrum Mama
