You do keep Dear Sugar in your bathroom,
yes? So that when you wake up first thing in the morning and think “I can’t do
this day,” or when you get that precious three minutes where you sit on the
toilet ALONE pretending to poop, you can take the book in your hands and Sugar
can be your oracle and give you exactly what you need to open the bathroom door
and emerge human and more whole just by
opening up the book and reading?
If not Dear Sugar, what is your DEAR? What
shows you TRUTH, on a bed of laughter, with a chiffonade of tears? HOPE,
wrapped in brutal honesty, with a core of sweet, sweet love? PERSPECTIVE,
nestled in a can of whoop-as$, with a side of I-get-it-though?
Ideally, everybody should
have something like this, a tiny escape-comfort that is always there when needed.
Maybe for you it’s music, or cooking, or...? Books have always been that thing
for me, as they are for my son. Even at parties.
I was recently
invited by a Very Big Deal Agent to write a book proposal for her agency. I am
still struggling with the requirements of the proposal, above all, the
selling-of-self. But I think that very quality of being there for others in a
very honest way makes this writing worthwhile, and makes a book a valid
proposition for this blog. So I am doing my best to get it done.
At the same time,
summer is looming. I see people posting on facebook about how they “can’t wait,”
and I try to share their enthusiasm, and heaven knows I want my children to
have those idyllic summers of which people speak, but—but...: I’ve never had a
chance to not be working in the summer, which makes things sometimes quite
rough. This year I at least had the foresight to coordinate what few camps the
kids attend (hey, both kids in camp during
the same week: my big insight from summer 2014!), so that I will have some
time to work while both kids are having summer fun. (Have people noticed that
camp often costs more than one can earn? What’s up with that?)
Like so many of us,
I also hope that I too will get some glimpses of summer fun. That during the
times when I am with my kids, I will actually be with my precious kids, rather
than being physically present while mentally worrying constantly about keeping
us afloat or getting other stuff done, such as The Proposal. I guess that would
be a form of practicing mindfulness.
Ever wonder,
though, why it’s so hard to remember to be mindful? Perhaps it’s because one’s mind is...full? In those full-brain and heavy-heart moments (big and small), I
know Sugar will help. Mostly, she’ll remind me that it’s on me to make things right, to feed the
good wolf, to see clearly and be present and not take things personally.
Basically, you know, to be mindful. But she says it in a way that I can really
hear, my dear, dear Sugar does.
Well, my friends, I
am heading out now for the last-day/half-day* pickup rounds. Here’s wishing you
plenty of whatever Sugar-esque entity feeds your soul this season and beyond.
Summer...starts...NOW!
Love,
Full Spectrum Mama
* Wee tad of a rip-off there?
