Because FSM has gotten a teeeensy bit behind in her List Writing, there’s still time to submit your COMPLAINTS of any stripe. They can be funny or sincere or sad or…Please email them to me at email@example.com.
And as a special treat, here is a COMPLAINT from moi-self:
COMPLAINT: Why is autism often used as a casual literary device to signify something one does not want? Then it jumps out at you unexpectedly when you are reading to try to chill out?? And, thus, you are no longer chillaxin’???
Examples from the last few weeks alone:
In Anna Quindlen’s memoir, Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake, right there on page 119, with no warning: “I remember the profound, almost physical relief sense of relief I felt when I understood that our sons and daughter did not have colic, were not autistic, showed no signs of adolescent mental illness.”
In Claire Messud’s novel, The Woman Upstairs, all nonchalant, about someone with unacknowledged, un-wiped soup on his chin: “Or maybe he’s from outer space or like a person with autism” (p. 120).
In the 11/18/13 New Yorker (yes, I am always 6-8 weeks behind), in Jeffrey Eugenides’ short story, “Find the Bad Guy:” ”You’re old. Your sperm are old. Baby might come out autistic” (p. 74).
SUBCOMPLAINT: It’s used casually to “sell, sell, sell” as well. Yesterday, I saw this on the ad side of my facebook page:
Why is it so hard for people with Asperger's to succeed in life? http://www.aspergerexper...
I don’t want to think about that sometimes-true statement while I am using one of my four free minutes a day to ogle my best friend’s new baby pix. Why can’t I just get your simple “Lose weight kwik” and “Ever get that not-so-fresh feeling” ads? ”Learn a New Career”/”Triple Your Income in Three Days”-type solicitations? Or even “Experiencing Erectile Dysfunction?”
Please, world, let us relax, read and ogle in peace. Spare us the gratuitous references. Try to sell us only things we want to foolishly spend our money on to feel happy, fit, rich and virile all the time. And calm!
Full Spectrum Mama