We are a Colorful
Family. When we are out in public, we are usually the ones people are looking
at. Because we are unusually attractive. OR, perhaps, because one of the kids is usually doing something
"interesting" and one of the parents (usually me - Pardner is a chef,
and chefs quite a lot) is usually doing something "creative" to try
to channel the "interestingness."
I’ve realized over
the years, because I find myself staring when I see families with differences
or public challenges, that some people—like me -- look on with identification
and empathy.
Some look with
scorn and judgment (those guys don’t even deserve this sentence).
But the other group
consists of the ones who want to use my family to teach “tolerance” – which
feels a little condescending -- or those who (much better) are aiming for respect
and acceptance, whether of neurodiversity or ethnic diversity or any other
inclusive impulse…
Um, may I just say
that being anyone’s “Teachable Moment” can be a wee smidge annoying? But okay,
I get it, people.
So here’s my Lesson
Plan for this Teachable Moment:
Figure I – The Full
Spectrum Family Lesson Plan
Guess what. It's a
spectrum. Is yellow "better than" violet? No. Red vs. green: who
wins?
Nobody.
Neurotypical's not
better than neurodiverse -- and vice versa.
White? Brown?
Peachy keen? Melungeon? Different?...Equal.
Orange? Blue?
Indigo? Sensitive? Impervious? Female? Male? Trans? “Normal?” Weird?” Can’t
tell?
Equal.
Please think
carefully before you approach us just because one of us is brown and might not
be “mine,” or because one or two of us seems quirky…unless you do so under an
equal and inclusive flag.
Whatever we are
representing to you, it’s probably not our "fault." It’s not even necessarily
that interesting.
There's nothing
wrong with us, or at least no more than there is with any other given family.
And we all need to learn to get along. Best we do so with the basic assumptions that no one is a specimen and that we are all equally valid members of this funky human rainbow.
Thanks – I needed
to get that off our Spectrum.
Love,
Full Spectrum Mama
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Couldn't agree more. I know that sometimes people might look at us, especially when the kiddo is not acting "right" and might want to use that as an example of how not to act to their child. But in all honesty...when something is truly bothering them how do they respond? Thanks for sharing and getting it off your spectrum.
ReplyDeleteI know, right? Whew!
DeleteThanks for reading <3
I love your visual! Great post and point!
ReplyDeleteLOVE this! I think sometimes people bend over backwards to show how tolerant and accepting they are that they cross over into the realm of pretentious and condescending. Live and let live. Another great blog!
ReplyDelete@Merri -- thank you dear! Sometimes last minute pressure can be "inspiring" ;)
ReplyDelete@Jessica - absolutely!!!!!!!!! You Get It.
Thanks for reading and for your comments.
Love,
FSM
Love, love, love this post. I agree that it's not a better than, it's an equal to. And I don't mind being the teachable moment in an equal to situation. You nailed it!
ReplyDeleteThank YOU - it's nice to be equal and in tune <3
DeleteLove,
FSM
"We are a Colorful Family..." so basically, Not Boring, right? ;)
ReplyDeleteThe only way they should be using your family as a possible teachable moment is simply by showing their children by example the kind way to treat and accept others. Not whispering or looking. Ugh
very good! Yes thanks for advocating. I love your diagram too:)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, wonderful @KMarie - Blessed be - <3
ReplyDelete