A VINDICATION OF THE RIGHTS OF AUTISTICS

 

“I don't like using the terms ‘invisible’ or ‘hidden’ disability. You absolutely see my autism—you just don't code it correctly and instead you see everything about me as a character flaw.”

          - Kelly Bron Johnson

Dear Persons,

For years I’ve been thinking about using Mary Wollstonecraft’s brilliant feminist arguments about equality to make a parallel case for not only Autistic rights but also to contend, in line with her philosophical process, that the ways of thinking and “character flaws” that Autistic people are typically criticized for may actually be both correct and valuable. 

In Part I below, I echo Wollstonecraft’s archaic, academic language to make my case. In Part II, I state my case very briefly and simply, in plain language. Part III quotes the most relevant part of Wollstonecraft’s work for our purposes here. 

VINDICATION OF THE RIGHTS OF AUTISTICS

(with apologies/gratitude to Mary Wollstonecraft, c. 1792)

I. The 1792-Style Version

In our present state of geopolitical chaos and unrest, it seems useful to look at what human qualities and behaviors might actually further the progress and peace we so desperately seek. To do so, we may well need to question the social-ethical status quo that has brought us here. 

As we will see, I’ll build my argument logically, disregarding justification based on the claim that ‘that is just how humans are.’ Like Wollstonecraft, I’ll ask straightforward questions to get to fundamental truths. 

As always, I cannot speak for all Autistics by any means, but I can quarrel with stereotypes and misperceptions, and reason from my own experience and observations to “dispute with some prevailing prejudice” (MW).

What makes humans special? 

Wollstonecraft argues that they are so because they can reason, possess virtue, and develop knowledge born of experience, i.e., wisdom. 

Yet we can all agree that it is common to see contradictions between 

• what is known to be true and right via reason, wisdom, and virtue, on the one hand,

• and what is conveniently (however subconsciously) believed or desired, and then borne out in action, on the other.

The former may be seen in rare shining examples, and exemplifies what is best in human beings; the latter, what is common in their actions. 

Are Autistic people typically as likely as the average Neurotypical person to deploy the “use of reason to justify” (MW) their self-centered behaviors in this way?  

My personal experience indicates that they are not. To wit, again and again I’ve been told things like “You don’t get complexity” or “This is a grey area,” when to my mind it’s more like I’m not willing to excuse myself or anyone else for building their thinking around rationalizing what they want. Almost invariably the gray area argued for by the gray-area advocate falls in favor of said advocate, e.g., such and such a clearly moral yet inconvenient choice is something that would be a good thing to do, but isn't actually necessary. 

Or someone will tell me I "don't get" something. Occasionally, that's true. Usually, though, I understand, but I don't accept the status quo. Think Greta Thunberg.  

Our generally shared quality of being literal tends to prevent these common types of reasoning and behavior. This is but one of many ways in which a Neurodivergent mind may differ from a Neurotypical one. 

Are Autistic people likely, then, likely to think in iconoclastic and/or highly innovative ways? 

But of course. 

Thus, I contend:

• that whereas both in their disregard for convention and the taken-for-granted, and in their lack of self-justification in conducting themselves as they wish (as is most convenient, easy, desirable, and so on) because they see the inherent contradictions in doing so, Autistic people indeed tend to be more ethical and more original;  

• that the very things they are lampooned for are in fact precious traits that not only further human progress, they further human goodness; 

and

• that their failed efforts to fit in fail because the structures of Neurotypical culture are inherently harmful—not just to we Autistic people, but to all people and to the planet;

the prevailing prejudice that Autistic people are lacking or less-than is patently false. 

Given the current ubiquity of horrible prejudices (in the face of reason), environmental-corporate devastation (against all wisdom), and spurious societal-political-personal phenomena (versus virtue), rational, logical, incontrovertible reasoning combined with original thinking may be our only recourse. 

In Wollstonecraft’s immortal words, “The mind must be strong that resolutely forms its own principles.” Such minds, such worthy human beings, must be cherished and nurtured for the good of all humanity.

Wollstonecraft holds that the apex of our rights and duties involves the “perfection of our nature and capability of happiness.” Autistic people must have opportunities to be their whole selves, and to be happy, if we are to contribute desperately needed new perspectives and ideas. 

Only with genuine equity and equality enabling full participation and self-realization will honoring the rights of Autistics bring these vital contributions to the world.

II. The Plain Version

We can use lots of completely solid philosophical arguments to come to the conclusion that not only are different ways of thinking valuable and often more logically and ethically correct than mainstream ways of thinking, but they may also be the only thing that can save this crazy world right about now. 

As likely Autistic person Albert Einstein said, ““You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.”

This means basic goodness, civil rights, and social justice are not the sole reasons for furthering the human rights and improving the lives of Autistic people. We might even help save the world. 

III. The Original [from Vindication of the Rights of Woman, Mary Wollstonecraft, 1792]

 

In the present state of society, it appears necessary to go back to first principles in search of the most simple truths, and to dispute with some prevailing prejudice every inch of ground. To clear my way, I must be allowed to ask some plain questions, and the answers will probably appear as unequivocal as the axioms on which reasoning is built; though, when entangled with various motives of action, they are formally contradicted, either by the words or conduct of men.

In what does man's pre-eminence over the brute creation consist? The answer is as clear as that a half is less than the whole; in Reason.

What acquirement exalts one being above another? Virtue; we spontaneously reply.

For what purpose were the passions implanted? That man by struggling with them might attain a degree of knowledge denied to the brutes: whispers Experience.

Consequently the perfection of our nature and capability of happiness, must be estimated by the degree of reason, virtue, and knowledge, that distinguish the individual, and direct the laws which bind society: and that from the exercise of reason, knowledge and virtue naturally flow, is equally undeniable, if mankind be viewed collectively.

The rights and duties of man thus simplified, it seems almost impertinent to attempt to illustrate truths that appear so incontrovertible: yet such deeply rooted prejudices have clouded reason, and such spurious qualities have assumed the name of virtues, that it is necessary to pursue the course of reason as it has been perplexed and involved in error, by various adventitious circumstances, comparing the simple axiom with casual deviations.

Men, in general, seem to employ their reason to justify prejudices, which they have imbibed, they cannot trace how, rather than to root them out. The mind must be strong that resolutely forms its own principles; for a kind of intellectual cowardice prevails which makes many men shrink from the task, or only do it by halves. Yet the imperfect conclusions thus drawn, are frequently very plausible, because they are built on partial experience, on just, though narrow, views.

QED. 

Thanks and love,

Full Spectrum Mama

P.S. Here's a video of a recent talk I gave on The #ActuallyAutistic Guide to Advocacy!

SWEETYPOO

Um...warning: You might not want to read this if you are new to yoga.

For nine years I was a yoga teacher, co-owning and co-directing yoga centers in New York City’s East Village and New England with my ex-husband. For a variety of reasons, I came to dislike that world. My neurology leans toward the literal -- and black and white distinctions -- and I was chronically unable to reconcile what I saw as rampant hypocrisy by yogis, especially yoga teachers (not to mention yoga studio owners!), with the practice and philosophy of yoga. I came to feel that people in the “yoga community” – most egregiously those in positions of authority -- often used what they knew of yoga philosophy to justify their actions: cruel actions were “awakening people to their own egos,” greed was “removing other people’s attachments,” stuff like that...

But in terms of the teaching itself, I think my biggest obstacle came down to this: while I would be saying the first part of the instruction in a sweetypoo way, I would be thinking the second part (in italics), like so:

“Feeeeeeeel the bliss of being in the present moment…because we are all going to die.”

Sometimes it got worse. Even though I liked and even loved most of my students, there would be pairs like this:

“Let gratitude suffuse every fiber of your being…You know what? You are so totally privileged to be here at 9am in the morning when everybody else is working or worse, and yet you still complain!”

Or:

“Be kind to yourself. Lift the corners of your mouth. Give yourself a hug….we all know that as soon as you leave this room you’ll pretty instantly turn right back into the total beyotch [bastahd] you were before class.”

When I got divorced, I left everything but the kids behind, including the yoga center my ex and I had run together for almost ten years. I haven’t had the time or money to attend yoga classes since becoming a single then working (of the non-running yoga center and teaching yoga variety) mother. Instead, I’ve been practicing at home, which I very much enjoy on those rare occasions when I am able to make the time for it.

The big news for me is I’ve just started back to taking public yoga classes -- on a super-limited basis (two classes in three months)…Guess what? I am having a very hard time with it! Every sweetypoo thing the sweet, sweet teacher says sounds inherently vapid to me, and I keep adding those dreadful non-sweet codas to the sweet sentences the teacher utters: “Now, just let go of all those thoughts…[Oh...Really? Do you think we should just be able to do that so easily? Have you ever actually truly suffered? Been worried about putting food on the table? Worried about being harassed just for the color of your white skin?...Do your children, if they are lucky enough to have enough to eat, get bullied???]”

I know this is totally unfair. I probably even sound bitter and evil! The funny thing is, the rest of the time – when I am not in a yoga class -- I am usually thinking pretty kind thoughts. TRULY! Also, I know the teacher is probably sincere.

Yet the thoughts keep popping up. It’s like when someone tells you not to think about something and you Just. Can’t. Stop.  

So, even though I always secretly criticized people for viewing yoga as a physical thing, I’ve decided to try to just focus on the physical for now -- the breathing and the movement and precise alignment of the body -- since I am clearly still disillusioned with the spiritual side of the yoga world after so many years of seeing people not “live their yoga.”

There’s a tradition of practicing silence in yoga known as Mauna. With Mauna, one practices clearing the brain and mouth of chatter, bringing clarity and peace and spaciousness to life. I’ve actually gone on Mauna retreats (back in a very different reality) and loved them. But for now, I am just trying to be as mentally and philosophically silent as I can in my practice.

What does this have to do with the Full Spectrums? Recently G has been getting up to no good at school. Being sneaky and lying about assignments to avoid the whole new academic success program we have him on. So that he doesn’t fail out of 7^th grade? (That’s another post). And Z has been up to some of her old RAD* tricks too.

As I revisit the whole sweetypoo yoga thing, it occurs to me that I am a talkative, and, yes, sweetypoo mom. Despite my ramblings herein and my scoldings to them, I always think my kids are fundamentally perfect and am prone to telling them so. And G’s teachers and the ex, even Pardner, are sometimes incredulous about my inability to really see and accept the more trifling aspects of G’s behavior and/or character. Z is better at “passing” for healthy outside of the home, and hiding her behaviors, but she, too, could improve her act at school and at home.

It occurs to me that the kids are – consciously or not – adding on to the exchanges we have. Clearly, I am not always getting through to them, as evinced by their actions, eye rolls, &c. -- and perhaps it’s because there’s too much sweetypoo talk! Here, the italics are their add-ins:

Typical praise-fest:

Me to G: “Wonderful Junior, I just can’t believe how much I love you!...Mmm hmm, that’s because you’re my mother.”

Me to Z: “My very own darling daughter! You are so fun to have special time with!...Give me more sugary treats now!”

Here, too, it gets worse, especially with my “famous” advice:

Me: “[G], make sure you remember that if someone is mean to you it is because they are hurting inside...blah blah blah. Heard this before.”

G: Yes, Mom...yeah right”

Me: “[Z], always, always listen to your teacher!”

Z: “Sure Mom...except when you’re not around...”

If it’s my fifteenth philosophical exhortation or admonishment for the day, what should I expect?

OTOH both children truly are happy most of the time, and seem to be on the right track in most areas. They’ve been told enough times which fork to use, and when to say please and thank you, and to wipe, wipe, wipe....At a certain point the ball is in their court, right? So I’ve decided it’s time for me to can it a little bit with the yapping. Dare I say...Let go a little?

You see, the second halves of my yoga sentences above are true. People who get into yoga are usually looking for healing on some level, and they are flawed and broken just like the rest of humanity. Perhaps many yogis are seeking because they are more hurt, broken and flawed than the average person. And then yogic practices can take some time – not hours or days, but years, even lifetimes - to be effective. So teachers and students alike aim with their sweetypoo words toward what they hope is true...yet we do not necessarily live that truth in all our thoughts and actions.

The first parts of my yoga sentences above are sweet...and potentially insipid; the second parts are ugly...and real. Same with what’s going on with my children’s sentences. And I want to change that. Call it Parental Mauna: I want to try to be more mentally/philosophically/verbally frugal (silence being impossible for the obvious reasons) as I can in my practice of parenting.

So here’s my PLAN:

Less talking, more showing.

Ideally, less thinking.

More listening.

In place of lavish praise - more hugging.

Keep it simple.

Let’s see if they notice.

Love,

Full Spectrum Mama

P.S. Dear readers, feel free to share your own such sentences in the comments section below! I would LOVE to hear them.

*RAD=Reactive Attachment Disorder