NOT A DISEASE

Dear Persons,

As a family of vegetarians, we’re always on the lookout for veg-friendly places to eat when we go on the road. We recently ended up at a gluten-free establishment in the Midwest. Pretty good food! But I won’t mention the name because I did a bit of stealth activism there and I don’t want to make any assumptions about the owner or staff or clientele… 

You could get your own water and bus your dishes etc. toward the back of the restaurant, as well as use the bathroom. And there was also a help-yourself bookshelf full of stuff to read back there. I am always down for a good read, so I took a look. 

Well, the books consisted almost entirely of books about autism. But not just any books. 

“Cure Autism With This,”  “Cure Autism With That,” “Get Rid of Autism With The ___ Diet”—you get the idea.   

I felt ambushed—and horrified. I’ve spent all my parenting years trying to get my kids to love themselves as they are. Sure, I’ve read my share of books about the various nuances of our lives, such as adoption, autism, racism, neurodiversity, learning differences, behavioral differences, trauma, etc. 

And hey, yay healing! We all have stuff to heal. 

Heal away! If, in fact, it’s something that needs to be and can be healed. 

But I’ve always operated in a context of acceptance and diverse perspectives. This felt like a full-on, unilateral assault on being autistic—however well-meaning. 

I quietly went back to my table, took out my mini travel notebook and began to write. Then I went back to those shelves and placed a note in each book: “Autism is a neurology not a disease.” 

And on the long drive home from our trip, I thought about the ways our culture pathologizes so many things that might better be treated as normal and healthy aspects of the human condition. 

Being shy? A serious condition. Same-sex love and desire: a psychological disease? Until shockingly recently, the majority of people, including some scientists and doctors, thought so. Cellulite: abnormal but “curable” (hah!).  Are you little bit weird? That’s weird. Maybe kind of…spectrum-y? Better treat it. 

We even treat getting older like a disease. In fact, I’m embarrassed to admit (even to myself) how much of my internal dialog consists of self-criticism over my age spots or crepey skin. How ashamed I feel on a very gut level about aging, despite being a feminist and never, ever ageist with others. 

Um…HUH? What’s the alternative? 

When will we wake up to the full range of beauty?

Thanks and love,

Full Spectrum Mama

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MY GREATEST SPECTRUM PARENTING SECRET…REVEALED!

I am finally ready to share my greatest Full Spectrum parenting tool of all time: Rainbow Mac n Cheez!

                    

Figure I – Rainbow Mac n Cheez with a FULL SPECTRUM of Vegetables*

What's that you say? That it does not look like mac n cheez? To YOU perhaps...but in the Full Spectrum household Rainbow Mac n Cheez  has, in the fullness of time, become our go-to savory treat. Rainbow Mac n Cheez maximizes vegetable consumption while lending children a pleasurable frisson of eating junk.

The trick is, you’ve got to sneak it up on them. I started over ten years ago by mixing a little bit of store-bought spinach salad into a box of prepared gluten-free, casein-free, store-bought “mac n cheez” mix. By the time Z came along a few years later we had gradually worked up to a 1:1 ratio of vegetables to noodles. Also, we had ditched the gluten-free, vegan thing, although we did try that again later (and Rainbow Mac n Cheez is totally doable GFCF). 

By now the ratio, having increased over time, is more like three parts vegetables to one of pasta. I also toss in chunks of whatever cheese we have lying around once it's all in the pot, since there's plenty of hot stuff in there to melt it. Trust me: it’ll taste gooood!

My daughter has been known to scoff, “What IS that?” when she sees some plain elbow noodles with orange cheez sauce (I admit she will gladly eat it!). Then again, she’s offering, this evening, “Vegetarian chicken with banana yoghurt, peas and paprika.”

Figure II – “Vegetarian Chicken with Banana Yoghurt, Peas, and Paprika”

Happy eating!

Love,

Full Spectrum Mama


* Yes, this was eaten - in its entirety -  by the Full Spectrum children. 

REESE’S THEORY OF HOMEOPATHY

The Full Spectrum Household has been avoiding refined sugar for over six months now.

With the younguns, this move is behavior-driven; for Maman, it’s a serious health issue.

As Halloween approaches, I find my mind wandering to – well, what do you think?

Candy.

Because we will be trick-or-treating, complete with all the quirks of Full Spectrum boundary awkwardness in doorways (every year G wanders casually into at least one random stranger’s home, focused on an enticing trinket or element of decor) and social ineptitudes (hey, now we really can’t recognize you, um, everyone) and violations (quick - watch Z’s hands in the serve-yourself bowls).

Many of our ‘specially fun qualities are exponentially amplified by being all hopped up on sugar.

So, then, post trick-or-treating, there will be these bags of candy. In the kitchen. After the Full Spectrum children are snug in their beds. In their bedrooms.

As you would expect, this little voice in the back of my mind is all, “You know what? If you just had a little bit of candy, say, a few Reese’s peanut butter cups, basically, that would be like…homeopathy!”

“How so?” the small remaining rational part of my mind wonders.

“Because, duh, if you never EAT Reese’s Cups, how will your body build up immunity? How will it know how to process Reese’s Cups, should it ever be exposed to said Cups???”

Exactly. Thus, have I put forth the prestigious, correct-ish “Reese’s Theory of Homeopathy.”

And I think it’s safe to say this scientific-homeopathic model may, in moderation, be applied to a number of other aspects of life…At least until the Special Candy Fairy comes and replaces all the candy with nurturing, commercial-free, organic playthings and natural, lo-flavor veggie-butter-leather.

Happy Halloween!

Love,

Dr. Full Spectrum Mama, Ph.D.