Tuesday, March 8, 2016

THE FULL BUCKET




 I’ve seen a bucket metaphor here and there, used in different ways, across neurodiverse  communities. I recently shared it, in its OVERLOAD/OVERWHELM form (there’s also a form that’s related to goodness, happiness, and loving/kind acts), with Full Spectrum Grandmother, who found it very useful, so I thought I would share it here, too. It’s by no means original with me, but it’s been super-helpful in a variety of contexts.

When your SENSORY (as always, I include emotions and other mental states here as well, as feelings) BUCKET is full, you feel on edge, about to spill over.

You can’t take on more (tasks, responsibilities, activities), or even take in more (information, stimulus, social cues) effectively; in fact, more, in just about any form – even positive – is simply too much.

I think of my toughest years in graduate school, when I was reading super-dense materials at all times – and reading trashy mysteries the rest of the time. I didn’t have the brain space for anything more demanding.

Now that I have a family and work, my bucket is more Full than ever. One of the top bucket fillers is my smartphone! Back in the day, emails and phone calls were limited to very particular times, and texting didn’t even exist. Now we are on – and presumably accessible -  24/7. Dealing with “special needs” bureaucracy, family and personal health issues, finances, running a household, and teaching a high needs population at the community college where students face huge challenges every day just to get an education...I know you all have your lists, but that’s mine: what fills, and sometimes – often - overfills, my bucket.

This is important: it’s not just hard, bad, or stressful stuff that fills your SENSORY BUCKET – it’s anything that’s stimulating and absorbs (rather than rebuilds) your energy. This holds especially true for people with SPD (sensory processing differences). For me, these positive, yet absorbing bucket fillers include great times with my children and Pardner, cultural outings, fascinating classroom discussions, travel...

It’s genuinely helpful to be aware that my SENSORY BUCKET gets Full, and to have a visual for this concept, because when my bucket is Full I tend to feel hopeless, desperate. I melt down internally, by feeling useless and getting profoundly overwhelmed and unsure how to do the next thing, and the next...

I know what I need to make room in my bucket: long walks, yoga practice, lengthy bouts of gardening, meditation practice, reading time, creative time, above all, time alone. Oh! And regular (weekly? {monthly?? [yearly???]} massages! Haha.

But let’s look at a more realistic scenario: my son G. G tends to shut down when his bucket is Full. This is his own expression of meltdown. He will stop listening, stop getting anything done, retreat. After a very Full day of school and activities, my sensory-sensitive son needs, from what I can see: extended time alone sorting through his Pokemon cards, And he gets it. And it really soothes and balances him, makes room in his SENSORY BUCKET for the next day’s interactions and experiences.

People with sensory challenges often need to rest their brains.  We also need to feed our hearts and souls. What do you and/or your loved ones need to create room in your SENSORY BUCKETS? Are there little things you can do, step by step?

For example, realizing that every day I would tell myself I would practice yoga at home before school pickup “after I got everything done,” and that every day I would never be left with any time to do so, I have just started (on the days when that’s possible) taking a quick walk after school drop-off when I get to wherever I will be for that day - before I “get everything done.” It’s not yoga, it’s improvised...yet that little bit of self-care makes a bit more room in my bucket so the “everything” seems more manageable. A week or so of these walks has created enough spaciousness to enable me to write and draw this post – which would not have been possible last week, trust me!

What can YOU do for yourself and/or your loved one(s)? A breath? A break? A tiny shift or change? Recognizing and acknowledging a Full SENSORY BUCKET is a great first step!

Love,
Full Spectrum Mama



 
Welcome to the Sensory Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from sensory bloggers hosted by The Sensory Spectrum and The Jenny Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about what it’s like to have Sensory Processing Disorder and to raise a sensory kiddo!




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10 comments:

  1. This makes so much sense to me! My husband and I are natural introverts, so we definitely need time to decompress when our "buckets" become too filled with life, but we learned long ago how essential this is for our son. Rather than fill his "bucket" with tons of after school activities, he also requires lengthy quiet down time after school to color, draw, imagine, and create. He loves it and even on weekends often requests extra time at home. It helps him to recharge and without it he has great difficulty coping. Another great post- thanks!

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    1. Sounds like some dang good parenting!
      thanks and love,
      FSM

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  2. This is a good reminder for me! I often get so preoccupied with my child's bucket that I forget to balance my own!

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    1. EXCELLENT POINT. Because they shouldn't be mutually exclusive...riiiiight? ;)
      Thanks and love,
      FSM

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  3. I'm a sensation-seeking extrovert. The absence of stimulation fills my bucket.

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    1. That totally blows my mind! We are all unique. Thanks for sharing

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  4. This is a cool concept! And it probably explains why I am so drained at the end of each day... in addition to my Spoon Theory issues. After seven hours of being in an elementary school surrounded by children, most of whom have special needs themselves, and one of them who is Tizzy, my sensory bucket is overflowing! I usually think I am too tired to do anything but fall asleep as soon as I get home. I've been thinking of trying yoga, though!

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    1. What amazing and useful work you do. Whatever it takes when you get home - sleep, yoga...
      I do yoga with DVDs these days and find it's sensorially calming...
      Thanks and love,
      FSM

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  5. Mama this was perfect, informative, and so damn brilliant! This how I describe SPD to my kids and to others. We all have buckets and mine and my oldest son's are full as we're avoiders. My youngest son's is never full because he's looking for ways to fill as he's a seeker. Every time I use the bucket analogy there's one more Dr, teacher, and family member that finally gets it! 😃❤️

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    1. Yay! Thank you so much!!!!
      We will keep spreading the word...
      Thanks and love,
      FSM

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