Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Summer, Summer, Summer Time

Having, now, about two hours of the school year left and counting, I went tooling around the internet and found this post: , and got “Insane in the Membrane” (a life-mantra, if you will, for the Full Spectrum Family and Friends) stuck in my head for the gazillionth time and, so here, Daddy lostandtired, …Gotcha back? Hope so.


Summer, Summer, Summer Tiiime…Time to Sit Back and Unwind

Remember this Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince song?

I’ve been humming it incessantly. Because that’s what we are going to do this summer?

Yup, I am determined to show my guys the FUNNEST, most wholesome, refreshing, unwindingest summer EVER.

And so I am sure there won’t be a THING to write about.
Plus, it seems I will be busily frolicking with Z and G  24/7  all summer, except for two weeks of camp, during which I will be, naturally, sailing the Mediterranean and getting my spa on. *

Indeed, we’ll be sleeping late,* eating a wide range of ONLY healthy foods while having no stomach issues,* and taking luxurious* road trips with the whole family enjoying brain- and character-building activities,* bicker-free, of course.*

I’ll certainly be musing about ongoing topics from past concerns such as:
how “disability” can be a super useful term (a.k.a. “I’ll call you whatever you want, whenever you want,” hmm…maybe that’s the post right there?);
diarrhea (Do we still have it? Bet you’re on the edge of your seat!);
Shifting Gears parts II, III and onward;
whether bringing up the existence of Finding Fairies ( might actually have been Z’s way to give me back my necklace (i.e. whether the whole scenario was not in fact actually my brilliant idea…);
and, relatedly, about who, actually, is in charge around here anyway?

Merry summer to you, dear readers,


Full Spectrum Mama

* In my dreams.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Shifting Gears – Part I

Once upon a time there was a little boy who took several years to learn to ride a bicycle. When the young lad finally gained this important skill, he was as proud as can be. A year later, he graduated from the small, low-to-the-ground bike on which he’d learned to ride to a tall bike that had formerly belonged to his mother. As he began to master this grownup bike, he became interested in shifting gears. However, his Mama and her Pardner thought it best that the enthusiastic fellow learn, first, to use the brakes and steer the ve-hicle.

Though the boy dreamed day and night of attaining this prestigious skill, he waited unwearyingly until the sharing of the Secret of the Gears would be allowed.

It came to pass, before the lesson of the shifting of the gears became appropriate, that the young lad went away from home for the first time on a five-day class trip to a wonderful science camp.  Upon the morning of departure to this far away land, his little sister refused to play or speak with him. So deep was her pain at his leaving, that she found herself unable to even bid her brother adieu.

However, shortly after his departure, the girl child was overcome with the knowledge that she had her family all to herself and, forthwith, began a campaign of demanding, and then basking in, undivided attention and adoration. 

Much fun was had, and many “special” outings were undertaken as consolation. Among these, the little girl – who’d learned to ride her bicycle in a trice– was taken on a long bike ride. During this adventure, the family encountered a mighty hill, and the young lady was in need of assistance. At this time, her noble stepfather inadvertently taught the lass to shift gears.

Alas, how could this have come to pass? For the young lad would be most heartbroken should he learn that his little sister, four years younger and light years more physically adept, had been taught the Secret of the Gears before him. The unfairness of this deed would have, as the parents knew full well, filled him with devastation.

And so the parents endeavored to convince the little sister of the importance of not telling her brother that she had the Secret of the Gears without actually asking her to lie to her brother. Many twistings of the tongue and brain, such as the classic “We are not asking you to keep a secret from your brother and yet we feel that it would be best if you did not bring up this matter” were shared with the young Bike Princess by both elders.

Finally, the day of the young lad’s return was upon them. With great joy and anticipation, his Mama and sister awaited him at school pickup. They lovingly loaded his stinking, filthy trunks into the car and sped home for a feast.

Brother and sister alighted from the car and swiftly approached the house empty-handed, apparently anticipating twenty minutes’ “screen time.”

The door, however, was locked, and so they sat upon the deck and conversed, while Mama, having alone shouldered the burdensome baggage and several other items including her capacious mombag, shuffled toward them in an ungainly fashion.

Suddenly, great cries of grief and rage were heard from the land of the deck, for, during the very first moment alone she had with him, the Bike Princess had foisted her knowledge of the Secret of the Gears upon her brother.

Now, some people hear this story and laugh, some shudder or even cry. That is what Part II will be about.

Full Spectrum Mama