Pardner grew up in predominantly
African-American neighborhoods. I was born in Panama and grew up spending time
in Panama City and the Darien jungle town of La Palma (and in the interior, in
smaller indigenous villages), usually being the only white person around
besides my father. My godfather was an Emberá Cacique (the Emberá are the
indigenous people of that region; Cacique means chief). The population in La
Palma consists largely of Darienistas – descendants of escaped African slaves.
So Z’s New England-based family is a lot less
super-White-rooted than most two-White-parented families around these parts….But
that still doesn’t quite explain why she thinks she’s Black.
Z was adopted from China and is of – so far as
I know and can tell – entirely Chinese ethnicity. When she was a baby I often
thought she looked as if she could have been Emberá, but this resemblance has
diminished as she has grown older. In
any case, I’ve always made sure to have positive representations (books, music,
art) of people of all shapes, sizes, abilities, neurologies, and skin tones
around the house. I try to celebrate a variety of cultures and perspectives. My
goal has been not so much to make Z aware of being special (because she is
Chinese, or was adopted, or…) but to teach –sometimes without explicitly doing
so – that all people are inherently
valuable.
For example, here are her favorite dolls:
Figure I – Z’s Full Spectrum of Dolls
“Cinderelly,” far right, is a little hard to
explain. Something involving Grandparents and a very headstrong young lady.
Otherwise, as you can see, we have a very inclusive and diverse doll family.
“Donna Poodle Itchy,” center, who is of Chinese descent, is Z’s favorite doll
baby, but she loves them all. And, I suppose, feels ethnically connected with
them all as well: she knows she is from China, her parents are White, and she
is, apparently, Black-identified.
I’ve
heard her telling people several times, “There were only two Black kids at [her
old school]. Me and [Black person].”
And check out this Thank-You card she – who has
warm beige-toned skin - made for her best friend, who is from West Africa and has
very dark brown skin:
Figure II – Thank You Card (Self-Portrait by Z,
with her Best Friend)
Many, many moons ago, I worked at a fabulous organization called New Jersey S.E.E.D.S. with the man I (along with
his four sons, and I bet a few others like me whose lives he’s touched deeply)
am now privileged to call “Dad.”* There was a student in our program who was
half Black and half Chinese and called herself “Blackinese.” I’ve never forgotten
the pride this student had in her voice when she explained her heritage, nor
the excellent word she used to encapsulate that heritage.
I’ve been reluctant to too-strongly correct Z
on her identification with other people of color of (speaking generally) a different
color because it does seem to be a very positive thing for her. She is
privileged to live among many terrific role models of all sorts, and in a
progressive, inclusive community where being a person of color is a plus
(ideally, in my humble opinion, it should be a neutral, butanyway…).
So I guess she’s just Blackinese.
Love,
Full Spectrum Mama
* Here’s what this wonderful man said when I
asked him how he identifies himself ethnically as I began this post:
Hi [FSM],
Jesse Washington once asked me to describe my
race in six words. I answered, “Race is a fiction; I’m black.”
I do not say African-American because all of us
come from Africa, some simply left the Motherland later than my ancestors
did. If we are simply African apes my
ethnicity is special because I identify most with blacks worldwide.
Love,
[“Dad”]
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