The Oxford English Dictionary defines a KOAN as “a paradoxical anecdote or riddle, used in Zen Buddhism to demonstrate the inadequacy of logical reasoning and to provoke enlightenment.”
When I am faced with questions I can’t answer, I often reframe them as koans, in order to — yeah, basically — make myself feel better. Also, laugh. (Also, cry.)
Teenagers provide ample opportunities for koan construction, let me tell you — never mind parenting teens with differences…
Here are some recent koans I’ve developed:
I.
If your neurodiverse teen stays out late for the first time and then sleeps past their usual 5:30 am. wakeup…is that Self-Regulation?
II.
If micro side-eye is smaller and quicker than regular side-eye, can it still be worse?
III.
If a peer invites your developmentally different child to do drugs or vape…is that Good? Or Bad?
IV.
Why is being weird weird, but being mean isn’t weird?
Love,
Full Spectrum Mama
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