Tuesday, February 12, 2019


Dear Persons,

The Oxford English Dictionary defines a KOAN as “a paradoxical anecdote or riddle, used in Zen Buddhism to demonstrate the inadequacy of logical reasoning and to provoke enlightenment.” 

When I am faced with questions I can’t answer, I often reframe them as koans, in order to — yeah, basically — make myself feel better.  Also, laugh. (Also, cry.) 

Teenagers provide ample opportunities for koan construction, let me tell you — never mind parenting teens with differences…

Here are some recent koans I’ve developed: 

If your neurodiverse teen stays out late for the first time and then sleeps past their usual 5:30 am. wakeup…is that Self-Regulation?

If micro side-eye is smaller and quicker than regular side-eye, can it still be worse?

If a peer invites your developmentally different child to do drugs or vape…is that Good? Or Bad?

Why is being weird weird, but being mean isn’t weird? 

Full Spectrum Mama

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  1. I love this! They are all the questions I’ve been asking myself! I also love your graphic. Well done... keep on keeping on. Maybe you’d like to join me in getting “this too shall pass” tattooed somewhere I can see it so I can remember this is temporary!

  2. Ah teens! And then teens on the spectrum. I feel your puzzlement. Hopefully those brains will develop into adult brains and we'll get past this stage. My kiddo with autism graduates this May and I can't believe we made it this far!


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