Please
note: this post is part of the Sensory Blog Hop, which is sponsored by the
fabulous Jenny (what a great name!) over at The Sensory Spectrum and The Jenny Evolution.
I accepted the invitation to participate as a way to get more exposure for FSM,
but it has become a wonderful, inclusive, helpful community for all us SPD Blog
Hoppers. Please do click on the links below for fresh and inspiring
perspectives and meet some very worthwhile new pals.
When my little fella started seventh grade this
fall, I very nearly had a nervous breakdown.
However, it seems to be going very well..socially...which
is...a surprise.
And then there are his grades. Which are
terrible.
You see, his ASD and SPD are a big part of his
DEFD and this causes a decline in his ABCs.
Get it? No? Please allow me to break it down:
ASD officially
stands for Autism Spectrum Disorder. I don’t like “Disorder,” so I end the
phrase with Difference. G is on the Autism Spectrum. He’s autistic in the way
that used to be officially called Asperger’s.
Among
other things, this means G has challenges in the social realm.
SPD
officially stands for Sensory Processing Disorder. I do the same here, calling
it Sensory Processing Differences. G has sensory processing differences, as
most people on the spectrum do, as many people in his biological family –
including me – do…
Among
other things, this means that G is extraordinarily neurologically and
sensorially sensitive in certain ways, while in other ways he may seem
“undersensitive.” Put another way, the systems of people with SPD tend to pay
more or less attention to feelings and sensory input than is “normal.”
Each
person with SPD is different. (Sometimes when one area seems “undersensitive”
it is because an individual with SPD is already overwhelmed from
“oversensitivity” in another area!)
DEFD
stands for Determinants of Executive Function and Dysfunction. Executive Function
– the ability to process and enact a series of thoughts and actions in an
effective way - has never been a strong
point for G. This fall, his already low levels of EF took a major dive.
So did his grades – his ABCs, if you will.
The way I see it, these acronyms and what they
represent in my G (and others) are all intimately connected: Each person has a
given amount of energy. When it takes More
energy just to function socially, resources
available for other aspects diminish.
I figure there’s only so much G to go around,
and, currently, it’s almost entirely being utilized in this area of Social Skills
-- which has been a lifelong challenge for him.
Figure I – Allocation of Energy Pie Chart
He's enjoying seventh grade (?!) – and “extremely popular.” I should note that
from what I can see and from what G tells me (limited!) this all seems to be
happening on G’s terms, that is to say he is popular and liked For Himself, the quirky and brave kid
that he is [sniff!]. Given this turn of
events, I pooh-pooh EF and the desire for As (…and Bs…).
For now.
Love,
Full Spectrum Mama
Nice post, I know how hard are of these EF and ABC's are to balance. I am finding more and more that when my ASD kid comes home he is upset due to some social interaction that occurred. I love hearing that G is doing well socially, it is so important in life. I have heard that Emotional Intelligence (EI) is one of the most important factors in determining if a person will succeed.
ReplyDeleteDear Cynthia,
DeleteThank you for your comment.
My G spent years and years being the school weirdo and getting teased, bullied and tolerated. We switched (and I do not say this lightly - it involved a lot of sacrifice and logistics) to a school where there is more diversity overall and he is IN HEAVEN. But I also think something shifted in him (I mean, he's still totally himself, but it's like he's okay with that and people sense it or...something) , and he might be in a different position even in his old environment. All this is just to say that there is SO much hope and I also believe that with dealing with struggles comes some wisdom, i.e. EI !!!!
Love,
FSM
Love this. And I love how you value social skills as much as all the others. It's a tough one for me. Getting As and Bs feels really, really important, but having a kid with SPD has forced me to re-prioritize. I'm not very good at it yet, but I'm getting better each day. I think… I hope… Great read!
ReplyDeleteOh, believe me - it's a PROCESS. I write as someone with a lifetime of straight As and an Ivy Ph.D. For me, I think grades were a way to prove to my family that i was worthy...G certainly doesn't have that impetus ;)
DeleteI think the other thing for me is that i DO know how deeply intelligent he is - and so do his teachers...and so does he. It's a question of getting THAT piece in the mix once he's really integrated the Social. Let's hope, anyway!!!!
Love,
FSM
FSM! I love your explanation and interpretation of the acronyms ("difference" makes a big . . . difference!) Always enjoy reading your posts, your energy is infectious :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Rachel. Trying to keep it positive and infectious...vs. depressing and contagious which is more natural in this endless storm we are experiencing here... ;)
DeleteI'm so glad to hear that your kiddos' having a successful social experience in middle school. The idea of Ben going to middle school scares the pants off me! And I agree, academics are important, but they are not everything. I'm so glad you've found a place where he can thrive and the teachers are working with him... That is so huge!
ReplyDeleteTrust me, Jessica, you could NOT POSSIBLY be more terrified than I was. I would say i spent the better part of a year in a panic over my sensitive, "different," socially -awkward kid going into seventh grade.
DeleteI think the deal so far (and i know there will be more challenges, of course) with my G should be a real beacon of hope for parents of children who share some of his qualities. Whether Middle School has changed or whatever it is, it will not necessarily be as you expect.
And a really fabulous thing is how we are all in this together!
I am just starting to learn the different acronyms myself. My son (so far) has only been diagnosed with SPD. I also try to use the word difference (which I believe I got from a previous post of yours).
ReplyDeleteMaybe that;ll be your family's only acronym? ;)
DeleteYay! for difference! Boo! for simplistic labeling! Yay! for spreading awareness <3
Great post as always... and I love your homemade graphics. They're awesome!
ReplyDeleteJennifer
Thanks for reading!
Delete<3